District Please do not approach the plague-zombies harnessed to the carriages. There's plenty of them left in the pits, so there's no need to volunteer.
Turtle This near-circular grand underground canal was built in the late 1890s. Giant turtles provide a slow but reliable service except during mating season.
Jubilee After the 2007 closure of Limbo, it was paved over and redeveloped as a piece of public transport infrastructure. Please report any ghost babies to the nearest member of staff.
Piccadilly As you enter the carriage, sleep overtakes you. At your destination, your doppelganger awakens instantly and goes about the business of your day. Don't worry: your doppelganger is acting in your best interests.
Victoria Imaginary line. Service is frequently interrupted due to the wrong kind of beliefs about the tracks.
Bakerloo To make crossing the river easier, service is partially routed through an alternate dimension. You will pass some "ghost stations". Do not make eye contact with the hooded figures therein.
Waterloo & City As a cost-cutting measure, passengers are liquefied, pumped to their destination, and reconstituted. As always, the tube can be crowded, and you may end up sharing personal space, thoughts, emotions and stomach contents with fellow passengers.