Interview with a supercluster-based seventh-level re-insurance company

David Stark / Zarkonnen
2016-03-11 22:23

So tell me a little bit about what your company does.

We're a seventh-level re-insurance company. Our main business is providing financial stability for sixth-level insurers, ones based in local galactic clusters.

So you're the guys who get called when a whole galaxy explodes, like what happened to M411?

Yes. I am aware of the recent coverage our company acquired due to the M411 situation. Most of our cases are not nearly as dramatic. We simply provide a large pool of capital to prevent smaller insurers from rupturing in circumstances that exceed their capacity.

Such as when the galaxy containing everything you insured spontaneously explodes?

Yes, such as that.

You mentioned that your firm had seen a lot of recent coverage due to M411. Surely this publicity is good for you?

Not as much as you might think. Any potential customers are already well aware of our services, so this has mostly resulted in a high volume of nuisance calls by organizations, even individuals, misunderstanding our business model.

But isn't it true that you directly insure a number of star systems?

Yes. While I can't comment on the specifics, we do indeed directly insure a small number of very high-value star systems. But those contracts are grandfathered in. They're from the very beginning of our operations, about half a billion years ago. We're not taking any new customers of that size. If you need insurance for your solar system, orbital, dyson sphere or deep-space habitat, you should contact an insurance provider based in your local spiral arm.

Okay. Final question: is there such a thing as an eight-level re-insurance company?

Not exactly. At that scale, the business model and mode of operations begins to heavily diverge from what you or I would call insurance. We do have... agreements with certain entities to cover eventualities as they might arise.

Eventualities?

Someone conclusively proving the existence and precise nature of an afterlife. Two plus two suddenly equalling five. The speed of light changing by a few orders of magnitude. A reversal in the direction of time.

Oh. Have you ever had to call on one of those agreements?

I couldn't possibly comment.