The Boy Who Ruled

David Stark / Zarkonnen
2016-08-25 16:59

It occurred to me that Dumbledore's Army was basically a paramilitary student organization. In reality, those tend to be bad news. So here's a cynical alternate history, told through newspaper headlines. Any similarity to real-life events is blatant and intentional.

The boy who lived!
As Harry Potter arrives at Hogwarts Wizarding School, Headmaster Dumbledore speaks of "new era of hope".

Brutal death at Triwizard Tournament
Dumbledore casts blame upon Ministry as event ends in disaster.

Mass breakout from Azkaban
"Be vigilant!", says Minister.

Fudge government teeters on brink
Approval at record low as Dumbledore criticizes inability to deal with "Death Eater" menace.

Hooray for Dumbledore's Army!
New student group safeguarding the Wizarding World!

Dumbledore elected Interim Extraordinary President
Long-time ministry critic now in charge. Declares state of emergency,  deputizes Potter to coordinate Wizarding Youth for the Defence of the Realm.

Suspicious Gringotts accounts frozen
Dumbledore clamps down on "Death Eater" funding sources.

Wizards and witches arrested for links to banned "Death Eater" organization
"They were undermining the very fabric of our society", Potter states in press conference, clad in new Wizarding Youth uniform.

State of emergency extended indefinitely
Voldemort "still at large", supporters sabotaging and spreading lies at every turn. Citizens reminded to be watchful.

New travel pass system
Prohibits use of floo powder, portkeys except by approved individuals. Rewards for reporting unauthorized usage.

Potter pushes for Azkaban extension to fight overcrowding
"Death's too good for traitors", Wizarding Youth Leader explains.

Ministry launches Potter inquiry
Claims Youth Leader diverted Ministry funds for personal use.

Stay inside!
Terse report from Ministry advises citizens to stay inside amidst reports of Death Eater attacks.

Potter restores peace & order
Declared Extraordinary President by emergency Ministry session.

"Order of the Phoenix" conspirators arrested
Group around disgraced wizard Dumbledore secretly influenced all levels of Wizarding society.

Remaining "Phoenix" terrorists apprehended by Wizarding Youth
President Potter is working tirelessly to ensure our safety.

Potter voted Wizarding President for Life
Promises new era of peace and prosperity, zero tolerance for terrorist organizations. Markets rose sharply upon announcement.